


Being You

by casandraderolo



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 20:42:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casandraderolo/pseuds/casandraderolo
Summary: Being you sucked





	Being You

**Author's Note:**

> Me writing in depth about a character that was mentioned once? Definitely.

Growing up, your younger brother, Rich, had always looked up to you.

 

You were five years old when he was born, but you already knew how cruel and unjust the world could be.

 

So you grew up, hiding Rich from the monsters that would destroy him.

 

“I want to be just like you when I grow up!”

 

Rich had told you that one day when you were walking home.

 

You were fourteen at the time, and he was only nine.

 

Except, you didn't want him to be like you when he grew up.

 

Being you sucked.

 

Because being you meant hiding who your father really was.

 

Being you meant taking the punched and receiving the bruises that were meant for him.

 

Being you, meant watching your mom fall apart at the hands of your father.

 

Being you, meant watching your mom, go back to him, watching her forgive him, even though you knew what would happen.

 

Being you, meant being sixteen years old, and hearing your brother scream so loud that you heard it from two blocks away.

 

Being you, meant walking into your home to find your mom lying dead on the floor, while your brother sat on his knees in front of her, too in shock to even speak.

 

Being you, meant watching everything you tried so hard to shield him from, slowly destroy him.

 

Being you, meant you never got to have a childhood.

 

Being you sucked.

 

Being you, meant that you had to grow up too soon.

 

Being you meant that you finding your brother half dead in the bathroom floor, with mom's old prescription bottles empty.

 

Being you meant, you're the first one that know that your little brother doesn't want to be known as “Rachel,” and thanks he didn't want to be your “little sister” he want to be your little brother.

 

Being you meant knowing what your father would do when he found out.

 

Being you, meant stepping in front of your little brother when Rich did tell him.

 

Being you, meant secretly going through military basic training.

 

Being you, meant that Christmas morning, you had to tell your brother, that you had to leave him alone with  _ him. _

 

Being you, meant leaving you little brother behind because it was the best way that you could support him.

 

Being you, meant knowing what would happen when you left. 

 

Being you, meant looking into your brother's eyes, and seeing him begging you to stay, don't go, please Thomas, I don't want to be left alone with him, Thomas please.

 

Being you, meant having to leave anyways.

 

Being you sucked.

 

Being you, meant not knowing if you'd be coming home to protect your brother.

 

Being you, meant a lot of things.

 

Being you, meant it sucked.

  
Being you, fucking sucked.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll write the requests soon but I really wanted to write this.
> 
> yell at me on tumblr  
> [main](http://callme-jakey.tumblr.com/)   
> [bmc side](https://transjakobdillinger.tumblr.com/)


End file.
